Time For Changes

I can already see that it is drawing near that I will have to begin making changes.  Changes with my clothes and future.  I still won't buy new clothes.  Last time I did that, it jinxed me and I gained all my weight back.  I am waiting a little longer before going there.  So, I still look pretty bad with the baggy clothes and I look like a street bum sometimes, but I think it's pretty cool, cuz it shows what people really look at when they see someone.  You know, the book cover thing.

I am also now starting to work out more.  I am able to do more without the back ache.  But with the surgery coming next week it will have to be put on hold for a bit.

School starts again for me in a few weeks.  this means studying and school and less free time to do other things.  I have only one class this summer, but the summer is a busy time for me and even one class screws it up.  the fall semester will be worse.  I am going to to to school full time at night and still work full time during the day.  Call me crazy, but it's what I want and know I can do.

There have also been some changes but those will be shared with those that matter.  so if you matter, then you will know.  But if you really don't matter then what does it matter really.  If it matters to anyone then what matters is that it doesn't really matter at all.

Disco Fever

So I was painting this morning (yes, I am still working on painting.  I'll explain later).  I had my ipod going and suddenly the Bee Gees, Bread, and Doobie Brothers started playing.  Before I knew it, I was creating a new play list and let it play while painting.

What does this have to do with my weight loss?  Well, back in the 70's my whole life revolved around disco and the emerging grunge and new rock era.  I spend allot of times at parties dancing and partying.  Not the kind of partying they do now, but a mild version of partying.  Anyway, the dancing and all was what kept me thin.  And as I painted and reminisced about the past and contemplated the future, I realized that as I go forward and lose the awful weight I have, that I will be able to do the John Travolta moves and even maybe look good doing it. 

Now, I am sure one of the first questions asked will be if I was dancing around painting.  We won't go there, and besides I don't need the International Seismographic Institute freaking out and looking for any earthquake activity along the Eastern Seaboard.  And it certainly wouldn't be a pretty picture.

Here's to the age of innocence and when we had good music!

So It Turns Out I Am A Loser Again!

I lost 2lbs.  Maybe I should celebrate with a big whopping bowl of my world famous chili.  And then next week I will be writing about me gaining 5lbs.

What A Loser!

Even with the weekend being the way it was, I did well.  Meaning, I had a few things I should not have.  But I lost 4lbs.  I need to keep focused and concentrate on my goals.  This weekend went well, but I did eat some things I should not have.  It was a temptation that I gave in to.  Shame on me.

I am now fully committed again and moving forward and getting excited again.

Tested and Passed

I was definitely tested yesterday and today.  I had to make a special trip to North Jersey and we all know (those who truly know) about the food in Jersey.  It was a quick trip and I knew I would not be there long.  I left yesterday afternoon and got back this afternoon.  I passed all the deli's, diners, and pizza places and I was still able to keep my eyes on the road and keep going.

The reason for the trip was to get a copy of our marriage certificate.  Long story as to why, but it was necessary.

Up, Up, Up and Back Down

I didn't write yesterday because I knew I had gained a few pounds last week.  But I decided that I need to write about it.  I need to write about all the successes and the failures as well.  Now, I really don't think it is a failure, but more like a set back.  I have no excuses except that I did not have my food and It was a bit difficult to stay on track.

So, I gained 3 pounds.  But, food will be here today and I will drop that 3 in no time and be back where I need to be.

Weigh In Tomorrow

I am nervous as anything about tomorrow.  I have to weigh myself in the morning.  I am nervous because I have not had my regular food and had to improvise for the last week.  I was careful, but I just an so nervous about putting on weight.  I worked so hard to lose what I have and I know it will be discouraging to see any gain.

I hope I can get past any gain and just keep focused on the end result. 

The Painting Saga

Oh My!  Did I ever get myself into a bucket of paint here.  I took on the task and looking back, I wish I had not.  I have gotten about halfway done and need to be finished by tomorrow night.  Kathy said she is OK with it not being completely done and understands, but I promised it would be done this weekend.  I just have no where to go with all the furniture and tables and pictures.  Things are in the way and it makes it more difficult to work around it all.  I know, I know!  I am making excuses.

Sigh! It Will Be Here Tomorrow

I was getting itchy about food.  I finally ordered today.  Back on track and losing more.  It was not comfortable not losing over the last few days.  I am anxious to get back to losing.  I was nervous and afraid of putting it back on until I received my food. 

Well, it took some doing, but I made it through ok.  But still, it was not easy.  It was getting more difficult the closer I got to the end of this week.  I guess it was probably from the anxiety of running out of food and having to eat some of the regular food instead.  I hope it doesn't get that way when I go on maintenance when I lose the weight.  I wouldn't want to be full of anxiety.  God knows I am full of a lot of stuff anyway.

I went out last night to spend some time with friends who were performing at a local eatery (yes, that is me in the picture, but I wasn't playing last night).  As I sat there I noticed the food coming out of the kitchen.  Awesome dishes for sure.  But it didn't really phase me too much.  Even with the anxiety I was having it felt good to be able to resist the temptation.
Well, tonight is the night to start painting the living room.  Ugh!  It has to be done.  There is no way out of it.  Well, maybe there is.  I could say that I painted it the exact same color.  Or touched it up.  Or the color is different but with the new light bulbs it looks the same.  Hmmmm.

I'm Dreaming Of A Scrumptious,Soft, And Gooey......................

Is it weird that my fantasies now consist of this?  Shouldn't it be something risque or of white beaches or snow capped mountains?  (snowcaps, aren't those candy?) 

I DID IT AND I KNOW I SWORE I WOULD'NT

I woke up this morning and decided to hit the scale.  Yes, I just did it yesterday for my weekly weigh in at home, but I had to do it and don't know why.  I hadn't really done anything over the last week to be excited about losing more.  But I just told myself to get on it.

I lost another 1.5lbs since yesterday.  I have no idea how or where it went.  I am certainly not complaining.  But it is exciting to say the least.  Just more motivation.

I Am Certain I Will Be Fine

I have no choice but to!  It will be a challenging week for me.  Circumstances have dictated that I will not be able to order my food until next Friday.  So, I am going into a mini maintenance mode.  Instead of 5 &1 it will be more like a 3 & 3.  I think at this point I won't have much of a problem.  I have finally realized that it is either lose it now or lose sooner!  And I mean lose it all.  I worry about my future.  Not only over the next several years, but now.  Will I be able to lose this weight and get healthy soon enough?  Or is  my body about had it.  I really don't know how much more my body can take and it stresses me some. 
Being positive is most important and knowing that it won't be long before it is gone and I am going to to on the fast track to staying healthy.

So keep me in mind and send lots of encouragement over the next week.  I know I can do it and not be tempted to eat the crappy stuff.  But, we all have been there and we all know the longer it goes the more difficult it gets to get back on plan.

Tragedy Averted

I did well at the BBQ.  I didn't go overboard or take it beyond the limit.  I was careful to eat what was good and healthy and not destroy what I had accomplished so far.

Being Tested

I am going to be tested tonight.  I am going to a gathering where there will be a great deal of food.  I mean, a great deal of it.  And all or most of it will be the bad stuff.  You know what I am talking about:  hot dogs, hamburgers, chili, chips, candy, potato salad, coleslaw, mac salad, and all the usual outdoor BBQ stuff.

I need strength and I need will power.  Maybe I should wear a blindfold and a nose plug.  That way I won't see or smell it.

Blog Name Change

You may have noticed I changed the name of my blog as well as the URL for it.  Long and short story, but nothing really important.  Same me and same story.

Something Smells Fishy

I decided I was going to introduce fish into my diet.  I have had many fish dishes but never really made it myself.  I cooked some fish fillets on Saturday and they turned out ok.  But I know there is more I can do with them.  I also had some shrimp in my salad tonight for dinner.   Needless to say, it was good.
I see a lot more fish in the future in my salads and on the plate.  Please share some easy recipes for fish.  But keep in mind I have to watch the salt intake and fat intake as well.  So anything with low, low fat and low or no sodium is ok.

Official Weekly Weigh-In

Stepped on the scale this morning for my weigh-in.  I have lost 20lbs to date.

Good Day and Bad Day

Yesterday was a good day and it was a bad day.  We spent the majority of the day out hiking and enjoying the outdoors.  Needless to say, I sweated like crazy.  This was good and I knew the exercise was definitely doing me a lot of good.  We spent most of our time shooting some video and stills of reptiles and birds along the waterways and gandered into the woods a little.  It didn't take long before it was obvious walking into the woods wasn't smart.  Ticks are abundant this year and we knew we were going to pay.
We went to lunch at Shoney's and their menu was small and not much on it.  I had to order an entire entree' to get one piece of grilled chicken.  I also got the salad bar which I refilled twice.  It was more than what I was supposed to have, but atleast it wasn't junk food.  When we got home, I stopped at the grocery store and picked up some fish, chicken, and pork.  We did grill some fish last night.  So I had two lean and green meals yesterday.  I did not gain any more weight from it.  I think I might be justifying or rationalizing it to myself.  But, I did something I should not have and it slowed my progress.  So, lesson learned and will power is on the menu for me from now on.

Battle The Cravings

It was not a good night last night.  I had this terrible craving for chocolate and a burger.  I kept seeing commercials for food on TV and then I was watching a show and they were eating chocolate.  I wanted to scream and run out and get a pound of chocolate and hit the drive thru at Wendy's.
So I made it through it.  I stressed a bit, but I managed to fight the evil crave monster. 
The cravings actually started while I was at school studying.  I smelled peanut butter crackers.  I rationalized that it wouldn't throw me off that much to have some crackers.  I had lost so much already and felt it was ok.  I got them and ate them.  Well, it didn't take long for my body to let me know that it wasn't cool.  Needless to say, I spent a considerable amount of time in the restroom.  It was unbelievable how just a few peanut butter crackers would send my body into this rejection mode so quickly.  So, to sumarize;  rationalizing is not good, rewarding is good, but making excuses for eating something I sholdn't will come with a price.  If it wasn't spending time in the restroom, it would have been not losing weight and worse, gaining it.
I also received a text from my health coach around that time.  Couldn't have planned it better.  She is great about being positive.  But I also know she can be the drill Sergeant of TSFL.  There were a few times she let me have it when I needed it.
So, today is a new day and another day closer to achieving my goals.

Official Weekly Weigh-In

Today is Monday and it is my weigh-in day.  I stepped on the scale this morning and for the first week, it is a total of 13lbs.